Why I have the best marriage ever and a dozen red roses for my dozenth anniversary

I have been married for twelve years and I can honestly say that love my husband more today than I did the day we were married.  This is, in part, because he is a really nice, easy-to-love guy, who also happens to really love me.  But is also because I am not afraid (anymore) to be honest about what I'm thinking and feeling and what I want.

Ryan is more practical than I-- which is why we have a home and two vehicles and plenty of food in the cupboards.  But because he is so practical, he doesn't love the idea of buying something that is supposed to die and wither and smell funny in a week.  So buying flowers does not come naturally to him.  I, on the other hand, regularly buy flowers for our home.  I love it if they are planted in pots, so they will live longer, but if I can't buy those, I will often buy cut flowers and put them all over our home.  They brighten our home and I feel happy when I see them.  So this year, since we were celebrating our dozen years, it just made sense to get a dozen roses.  And so I bluntly and unabashedly asked Ryan for them.  I decided it was worth it to me to not be surprised and ask him for exactly what I wanted.

Before I got married, I thought that if someone really loved me, they would be able to read my mind and fill my every need.  Now I know that if I really love someone, and want our relationship to be happy I need to tell him what I want-- and be specific--and that in all reality most of my needs I can fill myself.  We do kind things for each other every day.  And we really do love each other, but we are two complete human beings, and we don't rely on each other (most days) for validation, or even for love.  That sounds so unromantic as I type this, but I already have love.  I love myself and I know God loves me too.  I know that I'm good and I'm okay.  And Ryan's okay too.  He's a happy guy.  He was happy before we got married, and so was I.  That's why we're happy as a married couple.

So this year we went together to buy me a temple bag, and a lunch container that I've really been wanting.  I bought Ryan a nerf gun that got some great reviews.  And we went to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.  And next year we will go to Greece, because he promised! And on the morning of our anniversary, after he went around the neighborhood and collected bags of stuff to be donated to the DI and the Scouting for Food programs for our ward, Ryan stopped at the local florist shop and bought me a dozen beautiful long-stemmed red roses and brought them home in a beautiful vase and I was absolutely delighted, and may have cried just a little when I read his card, written for "the love of his life".  How lucky are we to have that?!

I remember reading Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet years ago, when I was in college, and reading the lines he wrote about marriage-- about there being, "spaces in your togetherness", just as there in "space between pillars".  We have space to be alone, and space to be together, and space to be ourselves.  Great advice from Mr. Gibran.  I'm excited to see what else we'll learn in the next twelve years!