The night after the full moon

Last night I drove up the canyon in the rain and fog and then snow and fog to try and catch a glimpse of the full Snow Moon.  I drove carefully up Trapper's Loop, and turned off on the road to SnowBasin.  I was up almost as high as I could go in elevation.  I was definitely above some of the clouds that I had just driven through.  But I did not see the moon.  I did not see much of anything but more snow and fog.  I was disappointed.  There was going to be a cool eclipse, and also there was a comet, with a greenish tail that crossed the sky last night.  And I could not see a single bit of it.  

I love full moons, and love learning their names.  I love going for drives on full moon nights with or without my bungalow boys.  I love the sense of renewal and rebirth.  I love the reassurance that comes from knowing that the moon will always get full again.  It's a great way to keep track of the time too.  I've been known to set my goals and challenges based on full moons.  (By the Strawberry Super Moon I want read three books and be 30 lbs lighter, etc.).

But last night I couldn't see it.  I came home, opened the door, and James came bounding up the stairs.  It was about 9:30, and he should have been asleep.  His brothers were.  Ryan had put him to bed an hour ago.  But he was ecstatic. 

"Mom!! I have a wiggly tooth!!"  

He sure did.  My baby boy has his first loose tooth.  I scooped him up in my arms and hugged him, and wiggled the tooth and told him I couldn't believe he was such a big boy.  He wanted to run up and tell dad right away. Ryan's response was much like mine.  

"You are my baby, how can you have a loose tooth?!" 

Because he's not a baby anymore.  But he is so adorable and he is pure joy.  He feels things so much-- his whole entire body was wriggling around with happiness.  

How could I be sad about not seeing a full moon when I have such a boy?  

And tonight it is clear. How many times have I been sad that I missed the full moon, when the almost full moon was perfectly visible, brightly shining down from a clear sky the very next night?  Probably a lot.  I don't want to stop looking for full moons, but I also want to start looking for the moon every night.  And there is so much I can pull from that, right?  The present-- this day is where and when I am-- so this day, or rather this night is when I will look for, and love and enjoy the moon. This night I will check on my biggish boys once more and kiss their cheeks and make sure they are warm enough.